How good or bad is age differences in relationships and marriages?
Love is blind, they say. It doesn’t see caste, creed, colour, believe, sex, religion, body type, age. Ah! Let’s think about this again! Age? Doesn’t it matter? Or it does?
Ones who believe it doesn’t matter in love will bring up examples like Nick – Priyanka, Kareena- Saif, Milin- Ankita, Dane Cook and Kelsey Taylor etc.
Ones who don’t believe in this will support their statement with examples from the box of their experiences.
Here, I’ll be presenting my points for and against the statement without making it complicated, so you can analyse what’s your take on this.
So let us begin with what is the age difference in relationships. Is it a big issue, or is it not?
A normal relationship is with the minimum age difference between the two people. A younger female and an older male are generally acceptable if the age gap is below 8-10 years ( Although, it’s all about beliefs ). But people expand their eyelids watching a couple where the woman is elderly, and the man is younger. I wonder who must have made these rules? And on what basis? Do tell me if you get an answer to this.
Anyway, if seen logically and practically, when it is about love and feelings, they don’t arise looking at the age of the person ahead. If the feelings are pure and completely genuine, they come up without caring about age, caste, creed, gender etc. After all, Love is Love no !?
We are all inspired by celebrities worldwide who have a generation gap in their relationships, and we keep gossiping that they are celebs, they can do whatever they want. Many a time we even troll them for this. But let us accept, this is normal. Even we being a common person can accept and hold onto a relationship like this. It is not that tough as it seems to be. We need to understand that we are all humans, and it’s all the game of feelings. They can arise for anything and anyone irrespective of the kind of thing or person they are.
But when you are in such a relationship where the age gap is a bit wide between you two, then there are certain implications and consequences of it.
So let us begin with the unsuitabilities or problems one can face in a relationship where age difference is broad. Although it completely depends upon how you carry your relationship. I believe – When there is love, nothing is tough.
So, here are the demerits mentioned below.
Demerits of an age – the difference – relationship
In cases where a person is older than you, there are chances of being dominated at certain points of time. Maybe you are the elder one, and your partner finds your advice and warnings dominating his or her thoughts. Usually, the person who has seen more of the world will try their best not to let you be on the paths that are not beneficial or right according to them.
Here, sometimes, it is irritating for the younger person to be annoyed or feel dominated because they are not allowed to take risks or try experimenting.
Now, if such a situation occurs between you two, try building up an understanding and act wisely. Understand each other’s point of view and then come to a decision mutually.
Differences in the level of thoughts
Since the age difference exists, there may come differences in thoughts and perspectives in various situations, as I mentioned in the above point.
To clear this with an example –
Imagine the mental level of a blooming youth who is 20 years old. His perspective towards life is different, full of excitement, pressure, myths, a jot of childishness and curiosities to explore the world. While his partner, who maybe 10-15 years older is way too different. Having seen more of the world for additional 10-15 years, they have different experiences, thoughts, beliefs and perceptions.
So in such cases, there can be a clash between beliefs and thoughts. One may find the other too immature, and the other may find his or her partner too mature.
Again, here you need to develop understanding and realisation of the fact that differences are alright. The key to making a relationship go smooth is – There must be a conclusion mutually drawn out of every situation or problem.
There may be more minute demerits, but the basic ones are these. All you need is a constant belief in your love.
Merits of an age-difference relationship.
Coming up to merits, guess what! The list is longer than that of the demerits. Why? Because as I said, “Love is Love”! Love is beautiful in its way! Isn’t it?
Here is how it goes like —
Constant mature support.
When you are with someone with same age level, your maturity level is almost similar in maximum cases ( keep the exceptions aside ). In psychology, they call it your MENTAL AGE. The mental age is nearly similar ( or the difference is quite less) of the people in the same age group.
If I am 18 and my partner is 19, we’re on a similar stage of life. While if my partner is quite elder to me, he will be a constant support for me. He will be mature support in all the situations I go through, or I get trapped in. More experienced, wiser and more knowledgeable than someone of my age. Don’t you agree?
Relive the days gone
At the age of 40, if you fall in love with someone who is just 25, you can relieve the days you have already lived. They like clubbing. You like peace at this point in time. After you’ll dance with them and clash your glasses together, you will feel the same happiness you used to feel when you were 25. Reliving the moments is a beautiful feeling. You’ll feel your youth revived and that is seriously a bliss.
Your speed breaker on risky paths
There are times when you will be about to commit mistakes which people of your age group generally do. A person older than you have already been through similar situations, and here they can be your red light for the unsafe and wrong paths. They can stop you from doing something that is harmful or is not right.
Lover- cum- parent / Lover-cum-child
There are so many feelings you cannot share with your parents, friends or family. That’s where you need a partner. And if you have a partner elder than you, you can confess out all the things you have in your heart. They’ll hear you like a parent and give you a proper solution or make you feel comfortable about it. That’s where you see a guardian in your partner. You feel secure and loved and that too without any obligation of being judged, scolded or restricted.
While you have someone younger as your partner, it is like you have a baby to pamper, guide, love and care for. You live in their mischievous and enjoy their naughtiness as parents do with their children. You learn taking responsibility for another individual, and that’s where you have to act like a parent at times. Holding their hands and letting them walk with you is nearly like feeling parenthood even if you aren’t one.
A boosted energy
When you’re with someone younger than you, there is a boosted energy automatically generated into you which is completely inspired by your partner. As you spend time with them, you forget about your aching back or the wrinkles or the hair fall. There is a pinch of positivity pumped into you. And that’s what makes you younger than you are.
Usually, it comes into the list of relationship problems where partners come into a sense of competition when they are similar in ages. Be it about money or career or popularity, sometimes a feeling of competitiveness comes in between. And this is so strong at times that it results in ending up of relationships. You’re competitive to people who are similar to you.
So woohoo! There is no such thing to spoil your relationship because differences in age group usually reduce this feeling of competitiveness. You both accept the fact of being different yet one. So you don’t compete about who earns more or who is on a higher post or who is more good looking etc. You know you are different, and that realisation is the thing which prevents you from spoiling your relationship.
Therefore, it is all about how you carry your relationship no matter if you are of the different age group, caste, sex, religion, belief or anything else. Nothing matters before love because love is all that matters. Two evergreen quotes give the conclusion in its best way – * AGE IS JUST A NUMBER, * EVERYTHING IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR.
The utmost thing to remember is that the basics or the ABCD of relationship are trust, love and understanding. If you have a hold on these things, you are unstoppable. Be confident about yourself and your love. That is the only thing that matters.