Motherhood is an amazing journey that a woman has to go through and live after she is married. Mothers are by themselves lovable creatures on this earth as motherhood is often associated with sacrifice and taking care of the needs of the children. Motherhood is a natural, gradual process after marriage and is a very unspoken story. No doubt, mothers are the most loved family members, but these days, as a woman is more educated and highly intelligent faces many kinds of problems in her life. It is a strange fact that we live in a society where everyone knows that education is important, especially girl child education is very important, because they will become the future wives and mothers, but at the same time, womanhood is always not considered as an individual but a society tag attached to it. The life of a woman is all the time governed by the will of parents and later by her husband and sometimes by her In-Laws. A woman is considered as a property with no individual rights of her own. Everywhere this type of scenario is seen, whether in India or abroad, womanhood is always an issue of a closed circuit. Women are also individuals. Education makes women strong. Modern women are more open to new ideas and thoughts. She is alive and real. This bothers the so-called society.
There are many problems faced by women in general. Women hide those problems behind her makeup and stay strong. This is the quality of a modern woman. However, there are families who believe in equality and bestow love for women too. So, it’s an individual mindset too. There are many pros and cons to living life after marriage. Modern, Educated mothers are trying hard to make their mark in their families as they have to face many problems inside their homes, at work and the article needs to focus on some of the most common problems faced by them. Let us speak and let us begin.
Marriage and Woman (Losing Her Identity)
Marriage is a turning point in a woman’s life as most of the things change for her. From a carefree soul, a pampered childhood, now she’s to grow into a woman to love and care for the needs of her husband and his family. After the romantic phase, she is asked to obey orders, and her individuality is lost. Her feelings get suppressed, and the modern, educated woman suffocates in her marriage and the lost identity issues. If she gets a good and supportive life partner, then things may change, but in 90% of the cases, marriage means to follow traditions and will of others, for a modern woman, its not acceptable since she is high on self-respect and knows her strengths and weaknesses too. Education is the backbone of society. Then how can an educated woman be treated like a puppet after marriage? She needs a wonderful, compatible life and a supportive partner too. Understanding is very important, and that comes from respect.
Motherhood (A New Set of Responsibilities)
Being a mother takes a lot from a woman and adds more to her her life too. “The little feet of joy” are much welcomed in the form of a child, and a young lady is now full of more hopes and dreams about her child. Modern mothers love their children a lot. Modern mothers are those superwomen who can perform all duties very efficiently. A modern and educated lady knows her capabilities, so where does the problem arise? Why do in many houses they don’t get the desired respect? Their kids love them, they are super at work too, but the women face so many problems at home! There are many cases of divorce and domestic violence that let us think about the problems within society! How can a loving and doting mother take such drastic steps? Why the beautiful relationship that is called marriage sucks?
Problems Faced by Modern and Educated Mothers after Marriage and Motherhood:-
Comparison and Jealousy
It is a sad part of our story as an educated, modern society needs modern women that can fit well into the alien lifestyle and however good she is, she faces the issues of comparisons between herself and her mother in law! One should respect her for being who she is, and she should not be used in the name of marriage and lose her image, which she has carried all through her life for being who she is. Here the basic male mentality should be checked that your wife is your wife and not your mother! In past women generally happily gave their identity for the happiness of her husband and suffered from within, many married women suffer even today. But marriage is the relationship based on mutual love, trust, and respect for one another. She should be treasured and not compared. Adjustments can survive any relationship, but it should be from both sides. Small home issues can be sorted by listening and giving time to each other.
She also faces jealousy! We call ourselves modern! Do we know what modernism is? Free your minds from being sarcastic to supportive. If she is truly appreciated by her life partner, then certainly she will face jealous in-laws and other relatives! Educated women teach them a bit, but alas! Ssh, keep quiet is what she hear!
With the children, responsibilities come. After becoming parents, life changes too. A better life for children becomes a priority. The couple now finds true happiness in the children. A man works hard, the woman also works hard, and there comes a turning point in their relationship that the romantic phase is now more inclined towards the realities and demands of life. The marriage starts suffering if the tensions are not handled properly. Modern couples should know that both of them are equally important for the child. The children shouldn’t suffer. So, the emotional crisis can be sorted out with the proper approach. Here the male ego clashes with the female self-respect and the impact can be drastic and negative as nowadays no one can tolerate abusive languages spoken during anger. It should be checked if both couple want to survive their marriage.
Respect is the foundation of any love. Start loving and acknowledging your wife. She deserves your love and attention. If you love her and treat her right, she cannot be that wrong! She is a woman, a wife, and also a mother now!
Financial issues are also part of a major problem these days. It should be dealt with maturity and planning your budget. A modern educated woman can help her life partner in many ways, but she should be trusted. Money related problems have taken over a lot like the women of today are more sensible and at the same time want a better living from her husband. Women are working and helping to achieve financial goals to accomplish. They can be strong support emotionally to their life partner, but most of the narrow-minded men find it not right for the women to work! They give room for tension to build on, and as a result, women sometimes prefer to take divorce for mental peace.
Relationships should be mutual and build on respect. Women can only help if allowed to work. She can be a multitasker. It’s quite normal. Remember she is a woman of today!
Regarded as Bold and Non- Traditional
Well, being non-traditional can be a very good thing, and men are blessed if you have found such a modern, educated woman as your life partner. A well educated and modern woman can make a family worthy. Handle such ladies with care and respect. The rest she can take care of. She can be taught to follow certain things with love and affection. Women are not a weaker section of the society anymore. Why do men afraid of strong women? The men dream these women too. So, think again wisely, if you can be a modern husband who can fit in her image as well, then your life can be very happy together. Otherwise, yeah, they are bold and out of your reach.
She needs a life partner, not a dictator. She needs care, and she reciprocates back with much love and be your side for the whole of your life.
Balancing Work and Home
According to recent data, 43% of women around the world generally quit work after they become mothers. The woman faces many kinds of emotional and physical changes while she is pregnant and working. Mood swings, psychological changes, work pressure, the pressure of running her house smoothly, and a lot of other mental issues. The general mindset of people is that women at home have no work! The homemakers are full-time workers without any salary! It is a bitter truth that women at home are considered weak. Working women are considered as strong as they add to the financial help; otherwise many houses it is seen that working women also face many issues at home. Men, please treat us with kindness.
As a baby enters into a new life in the real world after the rigorous efforts of a mother undergoing child labour pain and giving birth, he/she becomes “an apple of the eye” to the parents and both want to love and care which is good enough, but sometimes the child has to face serious issues related to parenting style and education he or she will receive. Of course, it is a personal choice that needs to be looked at in what is beneficial for the growth and development of the child. Many houses tend to follow the traditional approach towards parenting, and sometimes the orthodox mindset is not good for the growth and future of the baby. Parenting is a challenging issue, and it should be focussed more after the future building of the child. Many women find it hard fighting for the benefits and a better life for the child, as many families still have orthodox values. Parenting is an art. It’s not just a normal thing! In the past, nobody cared much for this, but thanks to modern and educated mothers who speak their minds and make things work for child growth.
She can make things work as she’s a visionary for her family. All she needs is a little care and respect. It is not hard to stand with your lady, the mother who made your life happier, and your family a happy and well-cared family. Also, read the challenges faced by Indian women.
Infidelity or Trust Issues
Just because modern and educated mothers talk to others, and can handle their work efficiently, does not mean that they can be an easy catch! Guys, Please respect Us! We are modern with more values and self-respect. A mother gives birth, respect her for her power of creation. As modern and educated we are, we are more efficient, and you guys know this. We smile and take trolling in a laugh, but that does not weaken us. If needed, a woman can become strong and can fight for justice. Children mean the world to us. Women as we are, we are equals and emotionally more capable too. Beside our soft and smiling personality, there is a Durga and a Kaali in all of us! Any relation cannot go wrong if the couple handles it carefully. Marriage needs constant efforts from both sides, and also, trust is one important element of it.
She is your best gift, keep her happy, and love her in the right way. Care for her as you care for your child. Negligence is a dark hole that has no end, but trust and respect can make your love powerful and strong. Make her your best friend. Give some space, give her your valuable presence.
Educated minds know the value of a true relationship and work to build a beautiful relationship. Growth and friendship can be powerful tools to win her back.